January 23, 2013

Pitch Wars Entry #36 - NEVER, NEVER (Adult Upmarket Retelling)

NAME: Brianna Shrum
MENTOR: Summer Heacock
GENRE: Adult Upmarket Retelling

WORD COUNT: 78,000

PITCH: Kidnapped to Neverland by Peter Pan, Captain James Hook is soon sentenced to death for the crime of growing up. Trapped against his will in a place where love is twisted, and children are happily heartless, James desperately searches for a way home and struggles to survive as a man in a world that hates men.

FIRST 250:

1. In Which the Hook Meets the Pan

All children, except one, wish to stay young. James Hook, however, wanted to grow up. As the summer drew to a close and his first year at Eton loomed in the not-so-distant future, he found himself very much looking forward to this next chapter in his life.

At twelve years old, James was quite happy with the state of things, in the way that most twelve-year-olds are. He had parents who loved him very much, a dog that loved him even more, and a pantry that never emptied of sweet things for him to eat. But there was an older-than-he-really-was part of him that had always recognized this happiness as fleeting, and it was because of this that the boy James could not wait to become a man.

So, as he packed his things neatly into his suitcases (early, always early) he had a wistful sort of look on his face. The kind of look that was generally reserved for men on their wedding days or women when they first beheld the tiny faces of their newborns. James was beholding a future untainted by foolish youth and silliness, filled with the hopes and dreams that only a man could ever begin to accomplish.

James’ mother was downstairs, rustling around in the kitchen, banging pots and pans together with such vigor it seemed it must have been on purpose.


Drea said...

Hello Ms. Shrum,

I am an agent with The Rights Factory in Toronto, ON. I enjoyed reading the first 250 words of your manuscript, and would like to see more.

Please contact me at drea@therightsfactory.com

Brenda Drake said...

Here's a request from Elise Capron:

I'd be interested in seeing your material. Please send your query letter, mentioning that I requested this on Pitch Wars, a synopsis, and your bio to elise at dijkstraagency dot com. Thank you, and looking forward. Elise Capron, Dijkstra Agency

Brenda Drake said...

For Elise Capron's request, could you please include the first 15 pages and embedded all in the body of the query, please?

Sorry for psyching you out thinking you got another request. o.O

Louise Fury said...

Cool premise. Please send 3 chapters in a word doc with the pitch/query letter in the body of the email AND as page 1 of the manuscript. Email: louise@lperkinsagency.com

Anonymous said...

I LOVE this concept, Brianna! Can't wait to see what happens!! :)

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