January 23, 2013

Pitch Wars Entry #24 - THE ENIGMA FILES: PHANTOM THIEF (MG Speculative Mystery)

NAME: David Brett-Andrews
MENTOR: Jennifer Malone
GENRE: MG Speculative Mystery

PITCH: Twelve year-old Karl Breslin is "King of the Freaks." Classmate Mason Scott is his reluctant schoolyard protector. Together, they must solve the mystery of The Phantom in this “X-Files for kids”

FIRST 250:

Mason Scott stood before the mothership, anxiety clawing at his heart as he stared at the mass of aliens before him.

Okay, so maybe he was exaggerating: the "mothership" was really Fox High, the new school he'd been dumped into. Oh, and the terrifying aliens? Just students in the same purple uniforms he'd been forced to wear. But they all felt alien to him, and that's what he really hated.

No twelve year-old should be dragged halfway across the world because their patents thought it would be 'fun' to split their jobs between continents. Yet here he was, snatched from his friends in the States and tucked away in some British town no one had ever heard of. There ought to be a law against selfish adults, he figured.

It didn't help that the school looked like a maximum-security prison.

"Perfect." He grimaced as he made his way towards it, reluctance dragging his every step. "I've been dumped into Alcatraz..."

The first bell hadn't rung yet. Did they have bells here? He scanned the walls of the building, half-expecting to find barbwire, or some kind of loud-speakers, but saw the normal red fire-bells.

A strangled cry stopped him in his tracks. Mason spun on his heel, every muscle in his body tensing. A small crowd of jeering students had gathered around a single victim.

He hesitated. This wasn't his fight: he didn't know the poor kid, didn't owe him any favours.


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