January 23, 2013

Pitch Wars Entry #15 - THE LANCE (Adult Thriller)

NAME: Chuck Harrelson
MENTOR: Susan Spann
TITLE: The Lance
GENRE: Thriller
WORD COUNT: 65,000

PITCH:

When an ancient enemy steals the Lance of Hope, an artifact forged in the fires of Hell with the power to kill a God, an unbelieving scientist must join forces with Death and journey through time to rescue his lover, retrieve the Lance, and save mankind.

FIRST 250:

Leah squeezed her tiny frame further into the shadows and wished for the comfort of her mother’s arms. She’d waited alone in the silent darkness for hours, and wondered how much longer the wait would last.

Stone walls surrounded the small, deserted square, barely visible in the starlight. Leah strained her eyes against the darkness but saw no sign of her family. Like her, they waited somewhere in the darkness, silent and unmoving, ready to meet the dragon.

Earlier, the angel told them of the immaculate birth occurring here tonight, in Bethlehem. The Messiah prophesied to save humanity. Savior of the earth, master of all the heavens.

At first, Leah and her family fell to their knees in worship, but when the angel’s heavenly voice grew dark, Leah’s joy had turned to fear.

“For you will not witness the coming of our Lord,” the angel said. “God ordains for you a different purpose. You must seize the tail of the dragon that would consume the infant king.”

Leah shivered at the memory, thinking of the terrifying instructions that followed.

“Mama?” She whispered into the darkness, trying to break the chilling spell of her solitude. “I don’t want to wait for the dragon anymore. I want to go home.”

She slid forward.

“Mama…”

Sudden fear choked her words, freezing her in place.

Thin columns of greasy smoke rose out of the ground at the center of the square. Some hung like spinning silk, while others slithered off into the darkness.

2 comments:

Janet B Taylor said...

Pooh! This made me shiver!! I'd love to read it!! Bring it on!

Janet B Taylor said...

That was supposed to say-- OOH!

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