January 23, 2013

Pitch Wars Entry #13 - PIPER GIRL (YA Fairy Tale Retelling)

Name: Carla Cullen
Mentor: Elizabeth Prats
Genre: YA Fairy Tale retelling 
Word Count: 72,000

When crazed rats from a nearby research lab infest her rundown neighborhood, seventeen-year-old Marisa offers to help capture them by using her magical ability to charm animals with her flute. But after a powerful scientist learns Marisa’s powers also affect humans, she stands in danger of becoming his next lab rat. (51)

FIRST 250: 
My phone chirps, rousing me out of a half sleep. When Carlos’s name appears on the screen, my heart speeds up. Maybe he’s in trouble. Or he’s looking for someone to hang out with. Best-case scenario, he wants to be alone with me.

Unfortunately, his text is maddeningly neutral: Are you awake? Meet me outside.

Though I’m not about to pass up his late-night invitation, I’d prefer something like: Marisa, I love you. I’ve always loved you. I snort. Right. Like that’ll ever happen.

I turn on my lamp, only to discover that the electricity is out again. In the corner, my fan sits idle, useless against the sweltering summer night. No wonder my back is plastered with sweat. 
When I twist on my flashlight, a few cockroaches skitter into the shadows. A shudder of revulsion courses through me. Given that I once worked with rats, I’m not the squeamish type, but these oversized bugs are the stuff of nightmares.

The light hits my silver flute, making it gleam in the darkness. Last night, when I took it out to practice a Bach Sonata, I had a sudden urge to play my old circus tunes—the magical ones that gave me control over animals. But I resisted. That part of my life is over.

After stashing the flute under my pillow for safekeeping, I walk to the window to see what’s going on. There’s no movement on our block.

And then I smell it. 

Something’s on fire.


Louise Fury said...

I would love to read 3 chapters. Please send it in a word doc with the pitch/query letter in the body of the email AND as page 1 of the manuscript. Please send it to louise@lperkinsagency.com Thanks!

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