January 23, 2013

Pitch Wars Entry #12 - THE TOTALLY TRUE TALES OF TANSY BERRY, TOOTH FERRY (MG Fantasy)

NAME: Shannon Schuren
MENTOR: Brenda Drake
TITLE: THE TOTALLY TRUE TALES OF TANSY BERRY, TOOTH FERRY
GENRE: MG Fantasy
WORD COUNT: 46,000

PITCH:


Tansy Berry ferries lost teeth to Tooth Central. Or she did, until her Chief Extraction Officer fired her for a minor infraction. To clear her name and win back her wings, she must expose a black market sweet tooth trafficker or risk being Unimagined, a death sentence for ferries.

FIRST 250:

Incident Report

Date: February 10

Time: 10:25 p.m.

Lunar Phase: Waning Crescent

Weather conditions: Dark and foggy.

Of course it was dark. We only work at night. What cavity filled this out?

Ferry ID: Tansy Berry

That’s me. And no, it’s not a typo. We’re Ferries, not fairies.

Address: XXX Any Street, Earth.

Sorry. Per the confidentiality agreement, I’m not allowed to give out client information. But I can confirm that the incident took place on Earth. I’m a Tooth Ferry, not an alien.

Client Name: XXXXX

No names. Ever.

Number of teeth: ???

Wait a minute. No one told me we were counting teeth. Since when are we counting teeth? I’m going to get in trouble for this, I just know it.

Primary nature of the incident: V. I. (Visual Identification)

Bet right now you’re wondering ‘what the cavity is a V.I.?’ Well, let me tell you, Visual Identification is one phrase you never want to utter near a Tooth Ferry. Don’t believe me? Try muttering it in your sleep the next time you lose a tooth. I guarantee, in the morning there won’t be any money under your pillow, and you just might find your carpet stained with ferry pee.

Description: Ferry entered the room using normal measures and approached sleeping client. As Ferry completed transaction, client opened her eyes.

Ugh. Even after the fact, seeing those words in black and white makes me feel sick, like I’ve eaten an entire candy bar and forgotten to brush my teeth.

2 comments:

michellejohnson35 said...

Love the voice! Please send the full as a word attachment to michelle@corvisieroagency.com

Chelsea Bobulski said...

I think this just might be one of the cutest things I've ever read, and you've got the MG voice down! AMAZING. Sad I couldn't keep reading :(

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