January 23, 2013

Pitch Wars Entry #10 - BALLOONING (MG Fantasy Adventure)

NAME: Erin Ferguson
MENTOR: Deanna Romito
GENRE: MG Fantasy Adventure
WORD COUNT: 59,000


Twelve-year-old Chester is building a hot air balloon, and if it's made out of shower curtains and defunct office fans, so be it. To fund his around-the-world trip, Chester accepts a simple errand- with no idea he’ll be transporting a beautiful, yet seriously aloof genie. And now the genie's thuggish masters are coming after Chester.

FIRST 250:

“And what,” demanded Mrs. August, “are you planning on doing with that, young man?”

The tops of Mrs. August's spectacles bore down over the row of hedges separating the two front yards. Chester had tried to tiptoe past the old troll and escape into his backyard, since prior experience taught him she'd have an opinion about his treasure.

In his arms, he bore the cumbersome drum of a Kenmore washing machine.

"What? This?" asked Chester. "Well, I was thinking . . . it would really go well with . . . um . . . you know, it's really quite useful-"

He was saved from having to expound on the drum's countless functions when his mother pulled into the driveway. His little sisters ran for the house while Mrs. Phillips, balancing paper grocery bags on each hip, slammed the trunk.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. August,” she said. “Your flowers are looking as lovely as ever.”

Mrs. August ignored her and jabbed her pruning shears at Chester. “I hope you're not planning to stash it in that yard of yours,” she said. “It's such an eyesore, and we're the ones who have to look at it. Trash everywhere. Old refrigerators. Car parts. Railroad spikes. TVs.” She chopped at the hedges, punctuating each accusation. “It's vile! And I don't know how you put up with it, Mrs. Phillips.”

“Well, I'm sure he has a good use for it,” Chester's mother said, rolling her eyes. “He always does.”


Drea said...

Ms. Ferguson,

I am an agent with The Rights Factory, based in Toronto, ON. I've enjoyed reading the first part of your manuscript. I would like to see more.

Please email me at drea@therightsfactory.com

gailecn said...

Love this one! I know I've seen it somewhere before, because the awesome concept stuck with me. Best of luck with it!

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